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Help me mark my essay.The full mark is 30.

A Report on the Visit to the Mesra Old Folk's Home

Last Sunday,English Club of our school has organised a visit to the Mesra Old Folk's Home.There were two teachers and 40 members involved in the visit.He travelled in a charted bus.
The objectives of the trip were to give an opportunity to the members to help the elders financially and mentally and give awareness to the members to respect the elderly.The aim of this visit is also to let members to enjoy themselves after a year of hard work.
We arrived at the old folk's home at 9.00 a.m. The owner of the old folk's home welcomed us with open arms.We were given breakfast in the old folk's home.Then p,we visited the elderly.They were very kind and friendly.
They narrate their stories and experiences with us.We were so touched by their stories.Some of us cried after hearing their stories.Many of them were sent by their children to the old folk's home and some of them are orphans.
We also played some games with the elders.We played chess,top spinning,football,hide-and-seek and many more.We were on cloud nine at that moment.Some of the elders said that it has been a long time they happy like this.Puan Suriati,the advisor of our club donated some sundries to the old folk's home at 6.00 p.m.
This visit can be known as a successful visit because the members promised they would not send their parents to the old folk's home in future.We must appreciate the elderly because they are more experienced than us.Their advice may be irritating but what they say is good for us.The best to show appreciation to the elderly is by listening to their advice.The other ways to show appreciation to the elderly is by studying hard and get flying colours in the examination.

Prepared by,
English Club.


It is very nice 28/30
0 0 0
Is there any error in my essay besides Then p, .... in third paragraph
then, we visited the elderly.
Some of the elders said that it has been a long time they don't have been happy like this.
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